My first blog
I am just writing some random BS because I wanted to start this off.
Today I feel blue because I can't stop the pain in my body.
Hard to explain sometimes but I feel as if I am stupid and I get called stupid a lot . It really hurts my feelings because I don't know how to spell nor do I ever take the time to see if I am correct. I feel said because after this miscarriage I gained lots of weight and it bothers me. I have this pain in my foot that won't go away and it is causing me to be sad as well. I am tired of feeling sick all the time and I want to quit smoking because I know that is the root cause of most of it. I am going to be 31 in a few weeks and I feel older but act like a 12 year old sometimes. What is wrong with me? Do I need to seek help for all my problems? I am a walking weirdo. I love my husband and kids with all my heart, but I want a better life for all of us and don't know how to do it. I hate working so early every morning. I don't make a lot of money either and I refuse to go back to school and refuse to get my liscence for massage because I am so stupid I have forgotten everything I learned. I can't keep my mind foccused ever!! I want to do all these things and have no willpower to do them.
1. Quit Smoking
2. Lose weight
3. Excersise
4. Make more money
5. Spend more time with kids.
Today I feel blue because I can't stop the pain in my body.
Hard to explain sometimes but I feel as if I am stupid and I get called stupid a lot . It really hurts my feelings because I don't know how to spell nor do I ever take the time to see if I am correct. I feel said because after this miscarriage I gained lots of weight and it bothers me. I have this pain in my foot that won't go away and it is causing me to be sad as well. I am tired of feeling sick all the time and I want to quit smoking because I know that is the root cause of most of it. I am going to be 31 in a few weeks and I feel older but act like a 12 year old sometimes. What is wrong with me? Do I need to seek help for all my problems? I am a walking weirdo. I love my husband and kids with all my heart, but I want a better life for all of us and don't know how to do it. I hate working so early every morning. I don't make a lot of money either and I refuse to go back to school and refuse to get my liscence for massage because I am so stupid I have forgotten everything I learned. I can't keep my mind foccused ever!! I want to do all these things and have no willpower to do them.
1. Quit Smoking
2. Lose weight
3. Excersise
4. Make more money
5. Spend more time with kids.
posted by starlitebrite | 8:09 AM
7 Comments:
Hi
I was visiting Blogger.com, and I came across your site and just read your posting on your "random BS"...sorry for the intrusion
My wife and I have two girls and she felt real sick after our second daughter was born. She could not remember anything, started shaking once in awhile etc. She was diagnosed with MS. I don't want to scare you, but I also don't want to see anyone in pain and not know why. And who is calling you stupid??? Shame on them. Write back if you are interested in talking more
Thanks for your concern. I do not have MS though, I work for a doctor and he reassured me that I have the flu. Made me do a few tests and no MS. Thanks though, I just need to deel with my depression issues and get better.
Hi
Me again. How long have you been feeling like this? Don't ever let anyone call you stupid, crazy or what have you. Sorry about the intrusion into your life, I am a normal guy, 36, live in PA, have two kids and can certainly understand what you are going through. If you ever need to chat, just let me know. Hope you find some support, for your kids sake. They need you.
Take care and I will check back often.
I guess I am feeling ok now. I think my depression just gets to me every so often and makes me feel worse than I really am. I think it is normal. Thanks for talking with me though it is nice to know someone is actually listening. =)
Hi
See I told you I would check back. My wife and I are in the same position as a lot of people are when it comes to money, never having enough of it, the kids, in-laws, life, work...it all stinks sometimes and we get depressed. I am far from being someone that can give advice to about this. Like I said, I am a normal guy, love computers, been doing that all of my career. I work for a Pharmaceutical company in PA, so life would seem pretty good? I get depressed when my wife is too tired from her MS and when I come home from a 12-14hr day, I have to cook and take care of two screaming young girls. Not complaining but it sometimes is depressing. Better or worse..
But there is always tomorrow and when those two girls jump into my arms when I walk in the door, it is certainly worth it. Sorry if I am taking up your "space" with my babbling but we all sometimes need someone we don't know to vent. My name is Ed and I must say that you are beautiful...if that is your picture. Nothing looks like it needs to or should be changed. Listen I am far from being a pervert or trying to hit on you. Just telling you my first reaction when I saw your picture....and I guess your hubby is a "doll" too ;-)
Take care and hope you have a better day tomorrow...and the next...and the next.
Ed
Thanks ED, That is a lovely compliment. I am not thinking you are pervert! I am sorry about your wife! I wish there was ways out in the world that would protect us from these awful diseases. Have you tried beesting therapy??
My mom is a pharmacist so I hear ya about pharmacy stuff she works almost everyday for 12 hours a day. She works so much OT that she should be pharmacist of the year! She loves her job though i guess it is nice to work somewhere that you love (wish I could say the same) ok Take care,
Kara
Hi Kara
I never heard of beesting therapy. I will have to look into it further...thank you. I know jobs suck...that's why they are called jobs ;-) I always think there is something better out there then where I am presently at but you know the saying about the grass is not always greener. What I try to do is look on the positive side of things but does not always work. It gets me over the hump of depression for the moment until the next time when I think my job sucks.
Anyway, forget this babbling. What is Portland like? I have always wanted to visit out there. The most exciting places I get to go is the Jersey shore. I was in Aruba, Peurto Rico but not a big traveler. I may have to go to Europe for my job but not sure when. I have always wanted to live in Colorado because of how beautiful it is...clean/crisp air.
Anyway, I am boring myself to sleep and need to go to bed. So chin up, take a deep breath because there is always another day
Take care
Ed
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